The Pursuit of Happiness Makes You Unhappy.

By: Fernando Schiantarelli


If you are pursuing happiness, most probably you’re going to end being a very unhappy individual. That’s what I think. Happiness is not a perpetual stage or an established platform that you are fighting to reach and from, if achieved, you will settle and contemplate and enjoy life forever. Like a magnificent view from your fatuous balcony. Happiness is moments that come and go like flashes of positive response matching or sometimes, even going beyond our expectations either as a product of our own effort or created by circumstances beyond our control. These “Happy Moments” in life retro feed those same expectations and bring that sense of accomplishment and self-realization.

We could find happiness in the miracle of our first baby. But remember, babies grow and eventually leave. We might think that we found happiness when we love someone and that individual corresponds the feeling. But remember, a relationship between imperfect humans it may vary dramatically after some time. Or maybe we feel exhilarated when our team wins the championship. Regretfully, next season the same team might end at the bottom of the league. So, don’t expect happiness to be solid and forever. Happiness comes and goes. So enjoy the moment and be ready for the next unhappy one moment coming directly to your face. The key element to achieve happiness is to do what you love in life, be true to yourself and respect your own being and others, including animals, plants and even the rocks and minerals.

Beyond this attitude, I think, there are a couple of qualities that we need to cultivate and growth because they are the foundation of any intent of achieving happiness. These qualities are “detachment” and “moderation”. If you are attached to things in life, including others, you are going to be certainly walking a very narrow path between happiness and unhappiness. You’ll be caught between love and suffering; satisfaction and frustration. If you celebrate the moment of happiness too much, be ready, because you will suffer also too much the next time something adverse crosses your path in life.

I also think we should keep in mind that being detached from everything includes being detached from pursuing happiness. Because this obsession we have today about feeling good and immediate gratification, it actually brings more circumstances of unhappiness and frustration. If you feel happy dancing in the nightclub, how long is going to take before you drop to the floor in pain? If you love to eat sweet, how long before you’re going to be drained by an illness? But if you dance and eat sweet in moderation, you will have shorter but repetitive feeling of happiness during your long life.

Just enjoy the moment. Don’t get too happy. Just be happy. Put things in perspective. Everything comes and goes. Nothing lasts forever in an ever-changing world of uncontrolled circumstances. Don’t look for happiness away of you. Happiness is in your deep being and depends on how you relate to life in general and yourself.

Be happy.